How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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