I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
