was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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