I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
