Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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