drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
