apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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