while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
