Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
