with your own penis?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
