How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
