this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Drunk walkin through police station. America
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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