if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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