But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
