You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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