Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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