How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
