Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize