check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
