Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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