You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
