Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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