I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
