So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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