i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
