you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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