If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
