Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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