Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
