Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
