Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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