Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
