I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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