I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
