they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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