Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
