Apparently you make a good broom.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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