We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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