Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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