let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
