just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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