so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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