$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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