just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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