if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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