he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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