Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
