I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
