you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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