What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
