dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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