he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
