maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
