I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
