Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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