no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize