Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
