just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
