Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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