I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
