please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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