is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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