All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
