some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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